Strangest Fears

The world can be a frightening place when you’re a small child. Some things are understandably scary to kids, like open wardrobes in the dark and strangers masquerading as Santa. But then there are things that freak you out as a child which, in hindsight, make very little sense.

 

Here are a few of the weirdest things that I was scared of as a kid.

 

Thomas the Tank Engine

Those jangling piano notes would send a chill down my spine every time. I found no solace in Ringo’s jovial narration. There was no comfort for me in the Fat Controller’s smile. Thomas the Tank Engine was about only one thing to me: pain. Those poor little trains were always coming off the rails, crashing into things and falling into murky water. The anguish painted on their smudged faces was too much for me to bear.

I know I wasn’t alone in finding this show disturbing, because this video exists:

 

 

The Sooty Show

matthew-corbett

 

This one is a little more perplexing, because as a kid I absolutely adored puppets.  So it really makes no sense that I would be scared of Sooty and his cute puppety friends.

Despite their innocent demeanor, those puppets would often get into mischief, and that mischief all too often ended with their human friend being squirted in the face with something. Perhaps due to Thomas-related PTSD, people getting stuff on their faces was horrifying to me.

 

Sooty_and_Co_-_6x15_-_Matt_Remembers_-_Part_02_of_02_0726

And rightly so.

 

The Village Roadshow Logo

It… it was just so loud… and sudden… and I was just never ready for it… *sobs*

 

The comments on that clip prove that I wasn’t the only one who found it scary, which makes me feel better. Maybe I’ll start a support group called Nineties Children Frightened by Dirty Faces and Startling Media Distribution Company Logos (NCFDFSMDCL).

 

What was your weirdest childhood fear?

 

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