Tag Archives: Mad Max

The Perfect Wedding

I don’t think I know of anyone who dreamed about their perfect wedding when they were growing up. That just seems like a movie cliche to me. So when people in my life have found themselves suddenly betrothed, they turned to their friends for help and guidance in putting together their very special day. I love having an opportunity to get involved in a wedding, mostly because I like to make the worst suggestions possible. Such as, “Hey, you should get some engagement photos like this!”

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Or, “Hey, I found the perfect bridesmaid dress!”

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But now I’m in an awkward situation, because I’m the one getting married!

I’ve spent so much time thinking of stupid ideas for other people’s weddings that I’m struggling to figure out what I actually want for my own wedding. Being serious about this sort of thing is all very new and overwhelming. I feel like Jack Skellington trying to figure out how Christmas works.

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I’ve decided I need to get all the stupid, non-serious ideas out of my system so that I can focus on sensible things, like table centerpieces and prohibiting anyone from putting those ugly satin covers over the chairs.

So without further ado, here is my plan for a perfect wedding:

 

The guests arrive at a secluded forest location and take their seats (with no ugly satin covers over them, ugh).

The groom is already there, dressed as Optimus Prime.

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His groomsmen are dressed as Robert Muldoon from Jurassic Park.

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Music is provided by the Doof Warrior from Mad Max. He plays the Monkey Island theme song on his flaming guitar.

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The bridesmaids make their way down the aisle, dressed as velociraptors.

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Then a flock of cockatiels fly me in. My outfits looks like I’ve been vomited on by a bunch of Japanese Lolitas and Tim Burton.

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Our celebrant, Jeff Goldbum, will be dressed as Glinda from the Wizard of Oz

Love, uh, finds a way

Love, uh, finds a way

 

We exchange vows and Jeff Glindbum pronounces us husband and wife. The velociraptor bridesmaids then attack the Muldoon groomsmen. Then, with the ceremony complete, we all walk away from some sort of massive explosion, and no one looks back because we’re too cool to look back at the explosion.

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Okay, now that’s out of my system, I can go plan my wedding for real.

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Mad World

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I know everyone is talking about mad Max: Fury Road, and there’s not much that I can say that hasn’t already been said. But I need to write something down because I honestly don’t remember the last time I was this blown away by a movie. In fact, I don’t know if I have ever been this blow away.

Fury Road is what the world would look like it there was an apocalypse and the only people who survived were the cast of Cirque du Soleil.  It’s two hours of car chases, explosions, gunfire and complete batshit insanity. On paper, it sounds like just another big dumb action movie. But it’s actually so much more than that.

This film is breathtakingly beautiful. Every shot is a work of art. The high speed battles play out like a dance across the desert, with incredible set pieces and spectacular choreography. The design is wonderful, from the spectacular cars to the grotesque villains. Seriously, there is a character whose sole purpose is to ride around on a massive truck made of amps and shred a guitar that shoots fireballs. Can you honestly say you’ve ever seen anything like that before?

But the thing that makes me the most excited about this film is the characters. Max might have his name in the title, but this is Furiosa’s film. She’s the one driving the narrative (and the truck, actually). Max just happens to be along for the ride. Charlize Theron is phenomenal; a perfect mix of power and vulnerability. She isn’t just a “strong female character”. She’s a strong character, period. Furiosa can proudly take her place in the movie heroine hall of fame next to the likes of Ellen Ripley, Sarah Connor and Beatrix Kiddo.

Furiosa isn’t the only strong woman in the film either. Her cargo of slave brides are active participants in their own rescue every step of the way. They aren’t as skilled or as strong as other characters, but they fight just as hard for survival as everyone else. And the camera never leers at them. Not even once. No gratuitous boob shots, no lingering camera angles creeping up their thighs.  They don’t feel objectified at all. In fact, they are more human than any other human in the film.

Some men are calling for a boycott of Fury Road, claiming it has a “feminist agenda”. And they’re right, it does have a feminist agenda, and it’s fucking awesome! The women in this film are basically fighting to overthrow the patriarchy that has kept them beaten down. But that doesn’t mean this is a man-hating movie. Furiosa and Max are portrayed as equals in every way. And it’s only by working together as equals that they are able to overthrow the system and establish a new world order.

I’m just so excited about this movie. As soon as it was finished I wanted to watch it again. I’m even listening to the soundtrack as I type this. This is the sci-fi fantasy action movie we’ve been waiting for. What a lovely day!

 

Edit: As if I didn’t need another reason to love this movie, I just found out that there’s a orchestral cover of Radiohead’s Street Spirit at the end of the trailer.